Halloween. Along with Meg, I was also thinking of my favorite costume, and I came up with 2 favs from long ago- first was the japanese woman costume that my Dad made for me on the ancient old sewing machine, before I could even sew myself. The fabric was black with huge gold polka dots, and the kimono had giant wide sleeves. I don't remember anything else about it but I'm sure it was cool. The second costume I remember from childhood was the soda bottle costume. My friend and I were bottles of Sprite. This was when they had those funny flip top lids that looked like baseball caps, so we wore green baseball caps, and I believe we wore them backwards. Could we have started the trend? That was 1966 or 67, I think.
When I first came to work here, 10 years ago, we used to have a contest between departments for the best costume. Of course, R&D won most often until we got a little too intellectual. The year we lost, our theme was "women in art". We blew up prints of famous paintings with women in them and cut out the faces to be replaced with our own. I of course was the dour woman in American Gothic. My friend Margaret was perfect as Andy's Marilyn. One of our crew was the curator and guided the visitors through the gallery, but alas, the building maintenance crew showed us up by dressing as a country band with Mike dressed as Dolly Parton. You can only imagine how much more interesting that was. The performance aspect of the costume contest was the most fun for everyone I think, and another alas, the contest hasn't been the same for several years. Our last R&D performance was as pieces of cake, where we all ran in, formed a giant layer cake and lit a center candle (Al) while singing Happy Anniversary. That year coincided with the 20th anniversary of the company. Tomorrow is the last day of work for more than 100 employees here in Vermont. It will be a very sad day.

The Friday after the terrorist attack, the company asked us all to spend a moment of silence and remembrance together in the parking lot. It was a warm, sunny day. We straggled out of the building very quietly and waited for a leader. I remember looking around at the faces of a lot of people that I don't really know, but feeling warmly connected just because we worked in the same building. I thought how at their last moments, the WTC victims depended on each other, reached out to each other, and hopefully found some comfort in being together, not alone. I read now the intensely personal stories of survivors, and how they forged relationships with their coworkers and strangers. It gives me chills.

TV time. Last week, we frantically searched for a TV that could get any kind of reception, since our work TV's are really only for video use. Finally, just as the 2nd tower disolved into itself, someone found a wire coat hanger (you'd think in a place that's all about clothes that we would have a coat hanger!) and we were able to get a local station. The images were fuzzy and black and white, but just as terrible as the scene played back when I got home. The TV was moved into the common break room, which was packed with people all day Tuesday and off and on Wednesday. By Thursday, there were just 8 or 9 people gathered around the screen on their break time. On Monday, the TV was on when I came in in the morning, but no one was watching. At 1:00 when I came back from the gym, the soap operas were on. This morning, the screen was dark. At home, I still can't help but watch the images, and I am still filled with disbelief. I don't want to think about retaliation. There is no way that punishment could be exacted.
I really love the "quilt"idea that Meg wrote about. I think though that a lot of people who lost people would need to have help setting up their square.

I'm sorry to report that I am giving up farm day, at least as it is here. I have been writing a column called farm day for my CSA newsletter, and 2 farmdays are not better than one. Maybe I will try to join the 2, I don't know. My real goal for the newsletter column is to describe the seasonal goings-on of the farm and attach foodie facts/ recipes/ ideas, then eventually combine them into a cookbook/ lifestyle book to be published. It's all about food isn't it.

Okay, I lost the post I just made, which was very lengthy and tres intelligent. Now I have to leave work so I'll have to cut it short. last night I read a course workbook called Voluntary Simplicity, a course developed by the Vermont Earth Institute. The first exercise for discussion is to describe a time in your life when you felt the need to simplify. Well, I just described that the other day. Is it a sign? Shall I just quit my job now to simplify?

Support your local (fill in the blank). I was finally sucked in to pledging to VPR. They made a pitch this morning about supporting local businesses, and since this is a subject so close to my heart, I felt I had to commit. And of course I had to get in a dig about my current employer consciously making the opposite choice. Yeah, it felt good.

A simpler life. While I was writing the CSA newsletter yesterday, I found myself without a voice until suddenly I was thanking everyone for joining up to share in the rhythm of farm. I almost could feel the settling down of my frenzied pace as I wrote the words. My attachment to the natural cycle of the seasons and the moon ( and the weather of course) is a calming center for me, and I guess I just had forgotten to notice those things for a little while. And then I laughed as I wrote a summary of how we got here, having moved from New Jersey to find a simpler life, when in actuality it is quite a complicated lifestyle. What makes it complicated for me is trying to fit together the natural environment and rural landscape we (think we) live in with the corporate world I come to everyday. More about that later.

Now the pressure is on to come up with some incredibly blog-worthy post, since I haven't updated in so long. I don't have one.
Originally I started this blog in order to keep up with farm news and exciting weather events. Apparently once you talk about weather more than once, it is less interesting. Unless of course you are a TV or radio weather person, or Arnold the weather automated voice. The farm news seems more exciting right now. Next week is the start of our subscription program for the summer, and pizza night will be 2 nights instead of 1. Everything looks great in the fields after a bout of rainy weather. Life is good, I said outloud to myself as I walked to my car this morning. If I only had time to enjoy how good it is.

I read Meg's discussion of marriage and what other blog people think of it. I belive most of these people are in the youngish age range, still believing in love everlasting. Oh yes, so do I, even though I am not now considered in the youngish age range. I think my most surprising thing about my marriage is how our lives can completely change, our 'selves' become so different than what we once were, and yet how satisfying and complimentary those changes have been. We are the lucky ones, I do know that. It's okay to wait for the right one, although sometimes it's difficult to put some of your goals on hold. But the goals can only be achieved with the right match. It will come to you, I'm sure.

There was a shoe in the middle of the left lane of the oncoming traffic at the stoplight on my way to work yesterday. On the way home it was in the left lane on the other side. This morning, unbelievably, it was back on the other side, and at lunchtime, it is right in the middle. It's just a black chunky shoe, probably like a Parade of Shoes shoe or a Payless kind of shoe, not much personality, but lots of staying power. What will happen to that shoe?

You know, I would love to link to other sites, but I find it is just too much of a pain, and if I don't know the address already, I loose the post if I go away to find it and try to come back. So if you are here, you are not going to be sent anywhere until you choose to go somewhere else.

An article on Blogger appeared in the daily newspaper here with a big, lonely picture of Evan. Just a mention of partners past, but no names. It made it sound so mainstream and really a lot less exciting than it is, to be able to see into people's lives through their eyes. I have surfed a few blogs, but I really do enjoy the ones of the people I know, like Megnut and Hey Jud. I was thinking that I really write this one just because I like to write and it makes me focus my thoughts more clearly, and it's kind of therapeutic in a way. But then I got confirmation that people actually read it, when I wrote about the unfortunate demise of my company. Well, now I really have to make it more enchanting and interesting, don't I?

It is a sad time here in Vermont, although the sun has been shining for 3 straight days ( that is very unusual). The company I work for has announced their relocation plans, moving 110 jobs from Vermont to North Carolina. I am one of the few lucky ones that will stay in Vermont with a job. We will have a new little design studio all for ourselves. But I really think the spirit has been broken- the entreprenurial vision along with the "strong women" message has died and will be buried now under the redbuds, the only nice thing I can think of about North Carolina.

I'm sitting at work, imagining myself a. in the greenhouse, b. in Paris with Judy, c. anywhere else but here at my desk. Although the weatherman says cloudy with a chance of meatballs for the next 3 days, it is beautifully sunny. Maybe some of the TWO FEET of snow on my garden will disappear today. The little green plants are starting to show up in the greenhouse, but I'm getting worried that they'll have to wait too long to be put in the ground.

I have been reading Steven Covery's 7 habits because a friend of Jay's said it helped her through some difficult times at work, which I am experiencing. I am surprised at how humanistic the approach is, thinking in my mind that it was a hard-core business book. My favorite thing so far is the concept of visualization. What a revelation! I have been using visualization my whole life, but I have been visualizing the negative things instead of the positive! I haven't had a chance to use it in the new way, but I can't wait.

It is embarrasing how infrequently I have posted, considering all the thoughts I have been thinking about posting. Spring, for instance. I was really down in the dumps last week when everyone was in Barbados or Cancun or Venezuela, and I was here in grey town. But after 2 feet of lovely snow that makes you feel all surprised and amazed by weather, I am renewed and ready for a few more weeks of winter. I am thinking about flowers, though, and maybe that is why I feel all of a sudden happier.

Finally, it is light out when I get in my car to drive home from work. It just happened yesterday, all of a sudden. Now today I noticed tons more birds, and when I stepped out of the house, it smelled different, like earthy and yummy. Maybe it's all in my imagination, but I'm really looking forward to mud season.
We stopped getting the daily crappy newspaper for a while, but they called and asked us if we would accept 2 free weeks service to encourage us to reconsider. Now I know what has been missing from my daily life- the published time of the sunrise and the sunset. There must be somewhere I can find that on the web, so that I don't have to torture myself with bad opinionated writing. I will look later, when I have time.

Tonight is a full moon( that's funny, I just typed fool moon) which may explain why I and everyone around me it seems has been cranky today. I don't have any great insights into this phenomenon, but it does ring true to me that the moon makes you crazy. Also it is more likely a pregnant women will go into labor on a full moon, something about the gravitational pull. On one of the morning shows on Tuesday, they showed the birth of many babies live on TV. I can't imagine agreeing to that. It is really much more exciting when it is your own, though.

In an old issue of Preservation magazine, an article appeared by a woman who had found a pile of diaries from the late 1800's, written by a farm woman. She was fascinated by these short, not too descriptive entries, like "I done what I could, " and tried to recreate the woman's life. I laughed at the similarities to Gramma Pete's diaries, which often said things like, "Had a good wash," or "Pickled 8 qts of tomatoes today." I too have often thought of recreating the life and times in these diaries, but somehow I thought they were only interesting to me. Maybe I was wrong, maybe a really interesting story could be built around the entries. Maybe in my old age, I'll try it. Now try to contrast that style with the new diary style called bloggin', and it makes you wonder what those people thought about all day. Other than how they washed their clothes and linens by hand, without a washing machine, and dried them on a line outside, no matter what the weather. "A good wash" might take all day. Thank goodness for Maytag.

Ashcroft. I meant Ashcroft.

Gladiator. I've been thinking ever since I saw the movie Gladiator, about people who have that kind of charisma that inspires and exhilarates. There is an aura around these kind of people that you can almost see, and certainly can feel. Can I get some of that please? People who have it: Tom Peters, my friend Lisa who works for his wife, Leiberman, Oprah. People who don't have it: Bush, Atwater. Did he really think he could sneak that appointment in? I fantasized this morning that Gore would come to the swearing in and claim his right as the winner, but you know what? He doesn't have it either.

Still no names for the cat, although Slinky seems to be sticking with the girl. The boys and I were all home sick yesterday, so we got to watch her slink and slide around, trying to be invisible.
Yesterday I sat in one of the old wooden rockers from the porch up in Orange, and rocked and read by the intensely hot wood stove. I closed my eyes and could almost imagine myself sitting on the porch looking out down the hill and across to the horizon where that one tree pokes up above all the rest. Do I love the chair because of its ability to transport me there, or because it's really quite comfortable? Does it matter?
Before that lovely day, I was on a plane for 16 hours coming from a 48 hour visit to Amsterdam, with a cold. Amsterdam was cold and grey, just like (dare I say it again?) Vermont. I've decided I really don't like to shop, and I don't want to do it again.

Wow. It is a new year, and I have great intentions of making an intelligent post every day. As you can see from the date, I have not yet had an intelligent idea. I must still be recuperating from New Year's Eve. I'm sure most people have stopped reading anyway since I can't seem to say anything at all for months at a time. Anyway, we have two new adorable kittens, who are still nameless, a brother and sister. Dexter and DiDi? Boris and Natasha? Donny and Marie? The kids suggested Molly and Nigel in honor of our former cats, which would be easy for me, since I really called Molly Nigel most of the time. I hope they are leading a healthy fat cat life in cat heaven.